This morning, I woke up after a dream in which I was desperately trying to scrub gum off my shoe. (Note: This is not some deep metaphor for an issue in my life – but a comment on how deeply I am disturbed by gum which did, in fact, find its sticky way onto my Cole Haan flats and lodge there with all its germ-infested might while on a recent business trip).
Man, I thought to myself as I rolled over to a cool spot, that was a boring dream.
Apparently highly offended by my offhand remark, my subconscious then wreaked its revenge. I’ll show you! my subconsious chortled. Creative, oh, I’ll GIVE you creative.
I then was treated to a nightmare where my beloved and I were on a midnight boat trip in some exotic jungle. Beset by an impulse I pray never overtakes me in real life, dream me became very excited and decided to jump into the dark, dark water for a little swim. Then of course, I realize there are all manner of things in the water. Things with sharp teeth and an appetite primed for tender girl-flesh. Things that one cannot see but know instinctively are bad, bad news.
Pull me up, I screamed to our dream tour guide. He launched me back into the boat and somehow, the water becomes illuminated. I see great whites and all manner of imaginary creatures – and then wake up with a gasp.
From this point out, I’m paying the inner me only the most lavish of compliments.
